Flurp…. I want to type stuff that would make sense here but I’m super tired and out of sync so I sound more like the Swedish Chef, less like Thoreau.
This is my first blog since becoming a mom of two boys! Yay me. It only took 90-something days to find time to sit at my computer. Multitasking? Nailed it.
Everything everyone says is true, it’s completely nut-balls going from one kid to more than one kid. There have literally been moments when I am putting pants on #1 while he hangs upside down eating skittles for breakfast only to hear (yes, actually hear) #2 crap a masterpiece in his fresh diaper after I already put him in the carseat while I’m a running half an hour behind and I just freeze and laugh psychotically…like I’m trying to ski UP a mountain and I can see an avalanche coming towards me so I just throw my sticks in the air and start doing the Dougie; if you’re going to be plowed over might as well enjoy it right? Also who can fight an avalanche? Other changes in my life include:
There is a certain level of pee soaked bedding with which I am willing to live before I do laundry.
I pick outfits based on their flexibility and ability to absorb and conceal spit-up.
5 hours of sleep every 24 hours is considered ‘a lot’ and just enough to keep one from accidentally picking up the wrong child from school.
If I manage a synchronized nap and you interrupt it, they will never find your body.
I know all the songs to Disney’s Frozen, I sing them in public when my children aren’t with me and the movie isn’t even available yet.
I can do ANYTHING with one hand holding a baby, including pour and drink wine.
If I get so much as a snif of judgement of my parenting skillz I will call you ugly to your face and then I’ll tell you specifically which Star Wars Alien I think you most resemble and why.
I am halfway through Beau’s birth story wherein I explain what led up to the C-Section (and the weirdness that is being sawed in half) and I have the first part of mine and Big Red’s story of how we met written…so I have been doing stuff. It’s just nothing has gotten to the finish line yet.
In the meantime, here is a sweet video I made of Beau Walker to commemorate his first three months on Earth!! He’s is simply amazing. I stare adoringly at my children quite a bit….