So I turned 30 a few weeks ago. I feel as though I’m in a better place about it, ya know, mentally. I hadn’t worried about thirty until half way through 29 when my adoring husband jokingly called me a cougar one evening. As I was bandaging his wounds and apologizing the reality of being 30 really started to marinade. If life is like that bar on the bottom of your ITunes page when you synch up your phone then I’ve already got a colorful filling for the first third of my space (mostly with blurry pictures and country music from the 90’s). A third!! And I can’t upgrade for more memory or delete anything deemed unnecessary in hindsight (a few heinous relationships, haircuts and more than a few plates of nachos) to create more time. Conclusion: Impending death.
But, everyone has that at the end of their bar. I’m fairly certain that’s a battle none of us can win, so why worry about it? I say that about Johnny’s affinity for taking my toothbrush and hiding it in the toilet and I’m saying it about the rest of inevitability. Mentally I still feel around 26 or 27, which is either refreshing or a recipe for a tight leopard miniskirt, too many margaritas and memorable tumble in public. “I can’t be turning 30 yet, I haven’t done any of the stuff I wanted to do by the time I was 30!” I said to Red one night, waiting until his head hit the pillow of course. “Honey, what hasn’t you did? I smink you iz gooder now…zzzz”. The fact that I can’t fall asleep as fast as Red gives me time alone each evening to guffaw at the rabble in the news, roll my eyes when I lose at solitaire for the third straight time or sit wide eyed and slow breathing while replaying my life in a montage set to Bette Midler’s “From a Distance”. What I had uncovered by the time Bette’s refrain whispered off into silence was that my life made me giggle and smile…until around the time of my 20’s. ‘Screech’, tap the breaks people. I had an amazing ride from 20-29: I graduated from college, graduated from grad school, landed my dream job, met my soulmate then married him before he could say no, had his man child and got closer to Jesus than ever before. I’m not talking about the things I accomplished, I’m referring to that maturity learning curve that makes every life lesson feel like a kick in the balls. And I don’t have balls, so figure that one out. Think about all the emotional turmoil you went through in your twenties; think about all the searching for yourself and confusion about what you really wanted to do in life and disappointment you felt when God put you on a different path than you thought you wanted and how devastated you felt when you failed epically or totally embarrassed yourself….your face probably looks like you just smelled a fart, which is what my face looked like that night laying in bed.
And that brings me to the bright side of turning 30: You made it through your twenties! Wiser, content, prioritized and confident I emerged from my tour of duty in the 20’s knowing full well that if I can make it through that, I can make it through anything. And just to prove that point I made my way up to a casino in my skinny jeans to boogie the night away at an Alabama concert. Talk about a test, how easily could that scenario have jackknifed into a regretful 20’s episode! It was the greatest night ever, because I’m 30 now and I don’t get plowed and fall down the parking garage stairs anymore (just a for-instance). Nope, I was back in bed by midnight and up bright and early to eskimo kiss my sweet first born meatball. Special shout out to Big Red who woke me up with a love letter and another big shout out to Lil Sista who orchestrated the concert and hosted the greatest birthday breakfast in the history or birthday breakfasts!! Being 30 is kicking some serious tail, I’m almost excited enough to start looking forward to my 40’s…..ok that’s a bold face lie.